Transition
Between the
ages of 12-18 young people are on a journey of transition. It’s an incredibly
exciting time, however as a parent and a young person, it can be a challenging
time. Everything in their world is changing; from their school life, to their
physical bodies and their friendship groups, it’s all undergoing big change.
They’re making the transition from being dependent children to interdependent
adults. Teenage anxiety levels are typically higher than an adults or a young
child. Recognising this, there are a couple of things that we think might help
you and your teenager on this journey.
Consistency
All young
people need consistency. It helps them build relationships and an identity.
During the teenage years lots of things will start competing for their time.
There may also be a time where they say they don’t want to go to church
anymore. However, if their attendance is consistent, especially from year 7, it
will help them form the relationships they need to feel like they belong to the
youth group. We want to encourage you to bring your child to as many Youth
events as possible. We’ve seen that with consistent attendance young people
start to settle down and build strong long lasting relationships. It may seem
like an uphill struggle, but persistent encouragement and support to attend
church is invaluable. In time they are more than likely to meet friends and
have fun, however if their attendance is inconsistent those relationships won’t
be built.
Relationships
All it
takes is one good relationship and a young person will feel much more relaxed
and at home. At Youth we have seen relationships develop in a certain order.
Relationship
with a peer
Relationship
with a YOUTH leader
Relationship
with God
No one
likes going to an event and feeling alone. That’s why one of the best things
you can do as a parent is to encourage the relationships your son / daughter is
forming with other young people in church. It may be as simple as providing a
lift for a group of friends on a Friday night. You could invite some young
people back to your house. It all helps them feel more relaxed and enables them
to engage with what we’re doing in church. Secondly, we often tell our leaders
that they “won’t care how much you know, unless they know how much you care.”
That’s why we proactively try and build relationships with your teenager. You
can be involved in the development of that relationship by getting to know who
your child’s year leader is, buying them a coffee or speaking to them in
church. It all helps.
Lastly we
would say that it’s hard to be open and vulnerable in place where you don’t
know or trust anyone, that’s why relationships are key. We’ve seen that when a
young person has a friend to attend YOUTH with and they trust their leaders,
they are much more relaxed and open to develop a relationship with God.